MINDFULNESS. A word that's used a lot these days, in many contexts, and with many meanings: everything from the basis for entire businesses and industries...to a particular type of meditation...even to ways we're told we should eat.. And often we're told "mindfulness" or "living mindfully" is good for us.
Yet often mindfulness is a word we hear and we shut down. Maybe we don't think we have time for it, or it is just a concept we don't get, is overused, is opaque or overwhelming, or something we don't need. Or all of the above.
But here's the truth: we all need more mindful (read: aware, attuned) ways of working and living. Especially during times of rapid change.
And here's another truth: mindfulness isn't about creating a state of bliss. It isn't about doing. Or liking vs. disliking. It's not a destination, or a box to check. It's both incredibly simple and deceptively hard. Or maybe it's neither...it just is. Mindfulness is really just about paying attention.
In a world with more inputs competing for our attention, more stimuli on screens and devices than ever before -- or than our brains have really evolved to fully digest -- how and what we pay attention to is really important.
It's important because when we pay attention, more often, more instinctually, we make better moment-to-moment decisions in how we lead and communicate. We create space between stimulus and response. And in that space we're in a place of choice.
But it takes re-training our brain.
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MINDFUL MINUTES
In my coaching and training work, I talk often with clients about the importance of what I've started calling a MINDFUL MINUTE.
You don't have to be formally trained in meditation or any fancy breathing techniques in order to reap the significant benefits of working and living in a more mindful way. All it takes is an interest in, and an ability to, try to sit for a minute or two quietly, and witness your breath.
These short, simple MINDFUL MINUTES are about doing (nor not doing, more accurately) just three things:
Sitting quietly and noticing your breath. The full breath, from the very first moment of an inhalation, to the very last moment of a complete exhalation. Focus on where you notice the sensation the most. Maybe your nostrils or your abdomen. First for just five minutes. Then maybe for longer.
Noticing, observing, the thoughts that inevitably come up. We aren't trying to make the thoughts go away or to change them. Rather, we just simply notice them. What happens to them? Do they persist or subside? Observe them and then just go back to your breath.
Notice that your breath cycle may deepen when you pay attention to it. Focusing on your breath means that for most of us, without even trying, a longer, deeper, fuller breath cycle starts to develop. Not short-changing your breath, which most of us do, but really taking full breaths calms the nervous system. It activates the "parasympathetic" nervous system, which controls in the quiet "rest and digest" moments of our life. It means we're better able to move through conflict or confusing situations with more clarity and precision, rather than being clouded by our initial reactions.
Can you give it a try? Just see what happens. Even if you meditate regularly. Right now. At your desk. Set the timer on your phone for two minutes or five minutes. Sit up tall, close your eyes, and pay attention your breath...and see what happens. Just see, without the need to achieve.
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You can do this any time during the day. And there's power in building a pattern of doing it daily. It's like training any other muscle in your body.
The more you do it, the more ingrained it gets and the stronger your "attention" muscle becomes.
I like early in the day, and then I'm able to notice more of these moments throughout my day. I sometimes start to catch myself paying attention in random moments. And I start to see myself overall more aware of how I act, react, and speak.
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HOW WILL I KNOW IF IT'S WORKING?
Over time, you'll know if these mindful minutes (or any mindfulness practice) are working when a few things happen:
You keep at it. You'll know it's working if and when you keep doing it. Whether 2 minutes or 20 minutes. You keep at it because you can and you value it. Not because you "get" or "achieve" anything but because of how you move through your life paying better attention.
When you start not to be so taken by external events and crises. You may start to see that these events, comments, or external circumstances are not what create our suffering...but rather it's our reactions to these things that creates the suffering.
When you're in a moment of stress or crisis and you fall back on your ability to observe mindfully what's happening...you know this is working.
WHY SHOULD I TRY MINDFUL MINUTES?
If you feel burnt out, stressed, or out of control, you realize that this is one of the things you CAN control -- how you react to the world around you.
When you live life more mindfully, you're able to communicate with more clarity, confidence and authenticity. And you're able to lead more with heart and mind in sync, rather than by fear or habit.
Mindfulness is at the root of leading with heart and mind, and of communicating more effectively. It's about putting us back into a place of control, where many of us get stressed because we feel out of control.
MINDFULNESS SUPPORT FOR YOU
The world right now needs more leaders who are mindful of how they show up and communicate, and who can help support their teams in working more mindfully. I've spent years in my own practice, and in learning, studying, and being trained in various aspects of mindfulness for my entire adult life. I've worked on mindfulness training with everyone from on-duty police officers to senior executives and political leaders, and youth, on basic breathing and mindfulness -- because I've seen how well it works.
If you or your organization are interested in bringing essential, easy-to-adopt mindfulness practices into your workplace, let's talk. This is something I'm passionate about and would love to support you.
ACCESSIBLE MINDFUL RESOURCES I LOVE
Waking Up. Meditation training, podcasts, and short lessons. Very accessible and thoughtfully produced for the modern householder and professional. They offer a free 7-day trial.
Insight Timer: Tons of free mindfulness offerings from teachers around the world. Useful for those wanting to explore different modalities.
Pema Chodron's book, How to Meditate: A Practical Guide to Making Friends With Your Mind. A short, accessible guide from one of the masters on how to approach meditation and mindfulness. I've recommended this book to many colleagues and friends.