The start of the new week may be met by many of us with a sense of anxiety or dread as we settle into this new normal for what looks to be an extended period of time. Now more than ever it's important to prioritize taking care of yourself and those closest to you. This is a marathon, not a sprint.
So, I'm writing to share the model for how I think about self-care for myself and that I use with coaching clients. I hope it will be useful to you. As I shared in a video today on this model, it's important to take care of yourself now so that you can help take care of others in your life and be the best kind of leader.
This moment is offering us a unique opportunity, even if it's one we didn't want or ask for, to take stock of where we're spending most of our energy, what's true and important, and on finding new ways to support ourselves, our teams and our families.
Those who do this well and exemplify it for others will set themselves apart as the best leaders in the new future we create once this is behind us.
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I think of taking care of myself along six broad dimensions:
Sleep
Diet and nutrition
Fitness and Movement
Connection with Family and Friends
Joy, delight, fun
Spiritual sustenance, emotional wellbeing
This list is a short check list that I use to check in with myself every day. The goal isn't to find perfect, even balance among each of these each day. It's a reminder to check in on what's most important to me, realizing that some days I need a little more, but depriving myself of one of two for too long means I'm not really taking care of myself.
Rather than tell you what you need to do within each of these categories, now is a good time for you to think about how you're taking care of yourself in each of these dimensions. Carving out time in your day, building regular habits and rituals helps make this easier and more sustainable.
One quick note on emotions: we don't like talking about them, especially at work. We don't like to grieve or talk about it. We aren't used to doing it. But now more than ever it's important to let yourself feel how you feel, and in so doing, you build empathy for others - who are also experiencing their own emotions and ups and downs.
This new world is hard for many because it's up ended our way of living and working, because health is something that hits home personally for each and every one of us, and because many are in a state of financial peril.
All of that brings with it a whole host of emotions and fears, mourning a potential future that may no longer be and anxiety around how to simply make it through tomorrow.
Taking care of yourself along all six dimensions means you're able to show up as a leader, a manager, and a partner or friend in the best way possible. In a courageous, grounded way. In a way that's empathetic, connected, but not consumed by all the negative voices and fears.
Now is also the time to realize that fear and anxiety comes to the surface in so many different ways for many people, and so we think about ways to be there for people even if their fears show up in ways that we find confusing or distasteful.
We show up with more patience for those, many who may be afraid of their ability to pay their rent, to keep their families safe, or for their own health, or for their own future of work.
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Three great resources I love right now that may help if you want to dive into this more:
Brené Brown's new podcast, Unlocking Us. Her latest episode on comparative suffering and empathy is a must listen for any leader.
That Discomfort You're Feeling is Grief by Scott Berinato, in the Harvard Business Review. Great piece on something most of us are feeling right now and how important it is not to ignore it in yourself and others.
One of my favorite ways of thinking about a full adult life in all dimensions is Frederic Hudson's The Adult Years, especially Ch. 2. The six dimensions along which all adults build a sense of identity through life and work: personal identity, achievement or work, intimacy, play and creativity, search for meaning, and compassion and contribution.
Take care of yourself and others. I am offering special discounted coaching packages now for anyone looking to get some coaching support and find clarity during this time of change.
Please reach out to me and I'm happy to help.